Therapist Shares Top Complaint From Women on Division of House Duties



  • There is a difference between active and passive responsibility when it comes to household duties.
  • It’s a common source of complaint from women, marriage therapist Corrin Voeller said in a TikTok.
  • Women are looking for a partner who is actively responsible for the house and kids, she added.

“Are you taking passive responsibility or active responsibility for the things that need to get done?”

That’s what Minnesota-based marriage therapist Corrin Voeller asked in a now-viral TikTok, which has received more than 1.5 million views. 

In the video, she noted that one of the top complaints she hears from women is that their husbands are always waiting to be told what needs to be done at home. 

 

“And they’re really looking for a partner in life who is actively responsible for the house and for the children — and not waiting for their wife to tell them what to do,” she continued.

She said there’s a difference between active and passive responsibility when it comes to taking on household and childcare duties.

“Active responsibility would be you looking around the house for things you could do and taking responsibility for the things that need to happen within the house,” she explained. 

“Passive responsibility would be being available to help — but waiting for somebody to tell you what needs to be done.” 

Her TikTok has drawn more than 4,000 comments, with many users agreeing with her assessment. 

“Yes!!! Perfect way to explain this. It’s extremely frustrating. I already have five kids. I don’t need a 6th. I need a partner,” one person commented.

“Even when I tell him what needs done or ask him to do something it never happens. I’ve 100% not cleaned and he just lets it build up,” another user shared.

For some, it was a wake-up call. 

“Wow! I guess I’m passive and my husband is active. I feel bad but I am changing that about myself ❤️” wrote one commenter. 

Insider has reached out to Voeller for comment.



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